shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
