is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
