i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
