First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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