I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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