apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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