You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
