She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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