Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
