Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
