you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
