I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
