Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
