doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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