I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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