Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Randomize
