just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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