atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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