trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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