Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
