Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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