Your tits are I can't wait for
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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