just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
