I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
