i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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