So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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