im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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