I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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