i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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