I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
either way he was missing a nipple.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
