I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
