i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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