Betty ford says i'm here all night
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
she looked like the before picture.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
