oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
