so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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