I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
