Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
