Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
