Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
