every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
