Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
