so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
