Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
