Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Randomize
