I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Bring me that man meat
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
