What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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