it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
