doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
My dick has a subreddit
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
