Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
