i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
