just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I would fuck him just for his dog
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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