pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
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