Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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